Self-Esteem Reset

Your self-esteem doesn’t collapse all at once. It erodes in tiny moments: the joke you laugh off, the compliment you reject, the scroll that makes you feel behind, the mistake you turn into a life sentence. We go live and get honest about what self-esteem is, what self-worth is, and why that difference can change your mental health, your relationships, and the decisions you make when life gets hard.

We walk through clear signs of low self-esteem like constant self-criticism, fear of failure, comparing yourself to other people, and struggling to accept a compliment. Then we flip the lens and describe what healthy self-esteem looks like in real life: confidence in your ability, learning from mistakes without drowning in shame, respecting yourself and others, and believing you deserve good things no matter what anyone thinks. We also talk about the forces that shape confidence over time, including childhood experiences, bullying, peer pressure, past failures, and the constant pressure of social media comparison.

From there, we shift into practical tools for building self-esteem step by step: positive self-talk you can actually use, small achievable goals that come with a plan, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and focusing on strengths you can build on. We end with a simple challenge to bring it home: share one thing you appreciate about yourself and one strength you have right now. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the self-worth reminder you’re choosing to live by.

Transcript

Live Show Kickoff And Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone. I am trying something new for the first time. Good evening, everyone. Welcome to a brand new episode of Your World with Dr. Beatrice Hippolyte. Today we have the opportunity to do the show live. Like I said, this is my first time trying. You know, bear with me. Our topic for today is uh very important and it's a subject that anybody can relate to. And um, you know, oftentimes they say, you know, like society normally kind of like uh target women when it comes to this topic, but uh in reality it's for everybody, men and women. And our subject for today is self-esteem. What is self-esteem? Many of you may already know the meaning of it. Many of you may have somebody who, for whatever reason, have dealt with it in a very negative way, unfortunately. So a brief definition of self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you view and value yourself. It reflects your belief about your abilities, qualities, and overall worth. What is self-esteem worth? Self-worth is the deep belief that you deserve love, respect, and happiness regardless of mistakes or achievement. I'm gonna say it over self-worth is they did believe that you deserved love, respect, and happiness regardless of mistakes or achievements. Now we got to a point where we have to look at the signs of low self-esteem. The size varies. First, we have constant self-criticisms. We have people who whatever that you do, they will never find something positive in them. They always have to criticize themselves, you know. I'm beautiful enough, I'm not smart enough, you know. People, you know, so it's like I think I'm I am silly. And um it's like um they have issues with everything. Their body, they they the way they look, they hair, and their weight, and everything. So it's like they just don't know how to value or put themselves at a high level to say, you know what? Hey, I love who I am, I'm beautiful when I look in the mirror, regardless of what other people may say, what other people may say, it's not even a concern to me. So it's me as uh Dr. E. Polit, me as Beatrice, how do I see myself? How do I love myself? So it's like I may go around there and somebody said, Oh, she's ugly. I don't like her eyes, I don't like her mouth, I don't like her nose. It's it's your business. But me, I love me just the way I am, you know, whatever that you tend that you're not comfortable with, but I I am comfortable with everything that God has blessed me with, and hey, I'll be happy. Another sign of low self-esteem, fear of failure. I tried this, you know, today, and for whatever reason, I did not fix it. And for that reason, I think, you know, every time I try, I'll fail. Or everything that I try, I will not fix it. No, failure is actually when you stop trying. The minute that you stop trying, that's when you fail. If I were to take an exam, you know, it doesn't matter. A zillion of times, I'm gonna continue on taking it until I pass. And it goes for everything that I wanna do in life. Because at the end of the day, I may give it a shot the first time, the second time, the third time, I did not succeed. But it doesn't mean that I am silly, it doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent, it doesn't mean that I'm not capable. It just at this moment things are tricky and I don't get it right, regardless of the amount of time that I didn't get it right, but I'm gonna continue to force myself, and each time that I didn't get it right, to kind of evaluate, you know, hey, what did what did I miss? So what should I have considered? And I felt unconsider, you know, and I felt undoing so. And from there, so it's like you know, I'm gonna improve myself for the next time, for the next time, the next time, and until I make it. Uh comparing yourself to others, it's another uh sign of low self-esteem. Uh we live in a society, unfortunately, so I've seen it way too often where people have to compare themselves to others. And don't ask me why, because I may not have the right answer for anybody listening or watching to this uh video at this moment, but it's something that's happened. So uh hey, this person, you know, so who's skinny or has a decent size, or this person, you know, dress a certain way, this person walks a certain way, this person speaks a certain way, you know, all of a sudden. So it's like, hey, we want to compare ourselves to others. No, you have to be self-sufficient, you have to be able to embrace you as you are, and you have to embrace everything that is, you know, surrounding you as the way you know they are, because at the end of the day, you know, the life of others will never be yours. So I may see, you know, a friend, a family member, or co-worker, you know, dressing certain way, you know, wear her hair, you know, or his wear a certain way. But I have to be comfortable. If my hair is nappy, then I'm gonna be comfortable with my nappy hair, install it in a way where I can look beautiful and hey, like, hey, it's my hair. And it goes for everything that we do. It's like sometimes we compare ourselves so much to others, and we forget that, you know, hey, we are way too blessed. You know, like I I remember one time I went to a church and there was that lady. Um, may she rest in peace now. And uh she always has, you know, a big sign. Apparently, I don't know if she had a mental health problem going on, so but she will go to different churches, and she always has that big sign, you know, on her study that I am too blessed to be stressed. And believe it or not, it's a lie that I picked up from her, and I'm like, and she will be dancing and laughing, and everybody that comes her way in that church, she will come and just hug you. And I'm like, you know what? It's a good line, and I'm gonna I'm gonna start using it, and even when things are dark, you know, in my life, so when people ask me, hey Dr. H, how you doing? And that always, you know, comes to mind. Um I am blessed, or if I'm dealing with a situation, or if somebody try to make life difficult for me, and I'm like, you know what, let me try to deal with that situation, you know, while not losing my sanity, because I'm too blessed to be choice, and that's why, you know, when I got in the situation and seeing the way other people are living their lives, even though if they have what they have, I would probably love to have it. But at this moment, this is not my life, and I don't have that, but I still have to consider myself as being blessed and not to stress over what other people have or be like them because I am me, you are you are you, and they are them, and we have to live our lives for ourselves and embrace ourselves, you know, for who we are, because at the end of the day, we are beautiful, we are powerful, we are uh uh uh we are full of strength and we are capable of doing great things. Be fit, be comfortable with your own self, love yourself for who you are, and regardless where you are and who you may be with. The the last uh sign of loss esteem is uh difficulty to accept thing or to accept a compliment. For whatever reason, there are people you know who just cannot accept compliment. You regardless if you were to say they're beautiful, they're smart, they're intelligent, they they have it all, or they just can't accept compliment. And it's something that you know if you are dealing with that, or if you know somebody who's dealing with that, you know, to try to work uh on and help around. Because at the end of the day, we're always gonna need each other. Me, I may reach a certain level of my life where I am comfortable, nothing really, you know, in this life can phase me to a point not to uh accept or embrace myself just the way I am. You know, I love myself and to those who may take or may say, you know, she's ugly or what have you. I don't know your definition of being ugly, but all I know, I know the definition of being beautiful, and I am beautiful. Sign of healthy self-esteem. So we just uh address the signs of low self-esteem. Now we're gonna address the signs of healthy self-esteem, confidence in your ability. Woohoo! This is a good one. Do you know somebody who's confident in himself or herself? I am, you know, so it's it's a good thing to have because you know when you are confident in yourself or your abilities of doing things, and you know, you you will not buy it, regardless of uh uh the amount of negativity that may come your way, you will already know, hey, you know what, I got this. And so when you have that level of confidence, you can achieve anything. Things may not be easy, things may be difficult, but at the end of the day, you already build or have that confidence to understand that you know what, as difficult that it this may be, but I can do it. I know this is hard, but I can achieve it because you are confident, you have that confidence in yourself, and it goes for everything, you know, school, relationships, you know, uh parenting and work related situations, regardless of what it is, because you are so confident in yourself, it's like it seems like you know, you prep, you know, for for everything. So that's very important. And uh for those of you who may not be there or working on it. So if you are working on getting your self-confidence together, and it's I will tell you it's a great step, and I applaud you for that. And for those of you who have who tend to lack in that area, it's never late, it's never too late, whatever that it is, you know, try today. And if you feel that you don't have the strength or the energy or the skills, you know, to try to work on that, look for help, look for assistance, and don't be ashamed because at the end of the day, when we when we look for help or we look for asset sense, it doesn't mean that we are weak. As a matter of fact, it shows that we are strong. Another sign of uh uh healthy self-esteem is accepting mistakes as running. It's part of life. We all make mistakes. I don't know if somebody never made any mistakes. I I'll comment you, I'll upload you, and I will simply say more power to you. But at one point in my life, I have made some mistakes. And the mistakes that I made may not be the same as the one that you made, and the one that you made may not be the same as somebody else made, but at the end of the day, it's life, and when we make our mistakes, we just learn from them and we move on. So we call it a life experience and we move on. Our next uh uh uh uh uh science of self-healthy self-esteem is respecting yourself and others. It is very important. Nowadays we live in a society where respect it seem I don't know, it seemed to be very hard to imply. Not only you know we see people who tend not to show any respect for others, but they tend not to have any respect for their own selves. So it's a healthy uh uh uh sign for self-esteem. You know, if you want to boost your self-esteem, you know, having respect for yourself and respect for others is very important because at the end of the day, as a woman, I'm not gonna carry myself a certain way. As a person, you know, I'm not gonna carry myself a certain way. As a mother, as a wife, as a sister, as a nun, as a co-worker, I'm not gonna carry myself a certain way because at the end of the day, you see how many hats I wear, and each person, you know, they kind of count on me, they have their eyes on me. And right there, that falls me into the category of being a world model. So, in order for me to be a good role model, I have to have the capability, you know, to respect myself and show a great amount of respect for others. Even if we're godless, you know, I'm not saying I'm not gonna look forward for people to disrespect me because this is not something that you know I'll be true about, but at the same talking, we're godless, you know, somebody may choose, you know, not to show any respect toward me, but does that does not give me the right to be to go out on a day and be disrespectful, you know? So if somebody showed that, you know, hey, she's or he or her doesn't have any respect or doesn't show any sign of respect toward me, you know, I will I can address that and I'm entitled to address that. Yet I have to address that by showing a good amount of respect toward that person. Our last sign of healthy uh self-esteem is believing you deserve good things. We have to believe it. You we have to believe in that, and it's very important. So nobody is entitled to tell you what you deserve or what you don't deserve. As a human being, as a person, a man, a woman, regardless of sex, gender, sexual orientation, religion, politic, culture, regardless, it's very important that you believe that that you believe that you deserve good things, and people always have to do the right by you because oftentimes you may find yourself in a situation where people think that they are doing you a favor, you know. I may not like you to, I may not want to ask you to like me, love me, but I will always stand in a position where you have to do right-bite me. That's one thing we always have to fight for it, and regardless, you know, where we are, work, school, uh, uh, in a relationship, person, uh a sentimental relationship, uh, family, regardless, it's important it's vital that people around you, as much as they may choose not to like you or love you, but they are obligated to do right by you. And now, so let's see uh what can affect self-esteem. Because there are things that can affect you know uh self-esteem. And according to research, childhood experiences is something that can really affect somebody's self-esteem. If whatever that you have experienced, you know, while you were a child was not uh addressed appropriately. Uh let's say, for example, I have an example for you for that, because uh myself, you know, at one point in my life, my childhood was not an easy one. There were situations that uh, if I were to get stuck on them, I probably will have a serious uh low self-esteem. But, you know, thanks God I was a different type of child. And I remember, you know, growing up as a child, you know, where I lost my mother at a very early age, and even before I lost my mother, so it's like the the the story is like. uh for many of you or Asian or probably learn about Haiti there was a time the country had endored a serious dictatorship under the duval both father and son and uh and at that time when the regime created the so-called uh code and it was like the citizen of the country will face or have known you know a great amount of challenge and it was a time so whatever that regime or those people from that regime wants for you from you you had to surrender and a lot of people unfortunately have lost wives or children uh fathers mothers and just to name a few and unfortunately my mother was a casualty to that regime yet at that time I didn't know you know who my father was I didn't even know that I had like I you know put it in my book if you guys have a chance to read my book and it's in two different versions the English version is uh uh the English version is a paradise loss in a merciless separation and the French version so it's uh a paradise perdu does in separation and if you wanna look you know for for uh to buy the book so it's on Amazon you go to Amazon and you type Dr. Marie Beatrice Hippolyte and so it's the Dr Marie Beatrice Hippolyte and the two versions will pop up and you pick you select whichever one that you want and I remember when I first you know made it to my father's house and one thing so it's like you know it was sad you know for your own father to compare you with other siblings and I remember one time my father said to me that I will never amount to anything and the most that I could make it was to be a uh charcoal mercant like my mother and uh so it was it was quite deep and uh thanks goodness you know my stepmother was around to kind of like you know uh take on that and we might it kind of remind the guy hey you you know you're bugging like if I were to use that uh that language you know you just don't do that to your own child and so and uh and at that point so it's like you know I remember a few times in that same household I used to be called ugly but that never faced me because from at a let me put it that way at a very early age I knew or I taught myself the best way to address bullies is to stand up to them and for that I was always on my toes I was always on my toes because I think I at at one point in my life I think I've heard I've I've heard a degree in in knowing how to stand to bullies and uh but it was just a privilege I was just lucky to never let that get me down because when as a very young child you're 10 years old you 11 you're 12 years old hearing people calling you ugly hearing people calling you oh look at your nose hearing people saying that hey oh you look at you with your big mouth you know it was like you know it could have been a very uh or something very detrimental but again and again like I said I was blessed not to let that face me I turned it around God had in all me or gave me the capability to know hey you are beautiful just as you are and I love you just as you are regardless of what other people may say but look at look at yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see and what I saw when I look at myself in the mirror it was just me as beautiful as I am the next uh uh uh uh uh thing that can affect self-esteem is social media comparison who social media now is a big thing it's a big thing everything is on social media people like to compare everything you know now you know you have this person boyfriend girlfriend husband or what have you partners you gave a gift to that person before even know it so it's gonna be on social media and now you know so look at what I receive for for example Valentine's day just passed look at what I received for Valentine's oh your your partner your spouse your you know did not offer you anything and before even know I've seen people got into serious uh uh altercation with uh the uh partners or uh uh or spouses you know just because the Valentine's Day gifts were not as significant as what they have seen posted on social media and now everything you know so it's like people live their lives on social media so people you know buy a house so now it's like every woman in that house in in is in social media so it's like hey you know what this is my house look how beautiful I have pool this pool I have five bathrooms I have and you like you know and so the other person who probably didn't have a house so it's just not it's just like crazy sometimes things have seen on social media and I'm like is this for will that's my thing I always ask is this for will because it's like you know come on people so I'm not saying for people not to post so you know there's certain things on social media but nowadays it seems people tend not to have a personal life everything has to be on social media because we we have to compare by comparing I'm showing you that I have more than you I am bigger than you look what I have you don't have this or you cannot have that and so what's gonna happen before you even know it the next person will go and get crazy and to come and show hey you know what you were saying that and this is what I have or now I can drive a bench and you you only drive a camway or it's okay if somebody you know has the opportunity to buy a Mercedes bench or whatever the type whatever type of car that person can buy so it's okay as long that you have it and this is something you want to please yourself with by all means you know you treat yourself. But at the same time the fact that the person posts that on social media that should not be something that would put you in a situation to go crazy and say you know what oh now that person showing that she has a she or he has a band so I'm gonna make sure that you know I show him that I have a Limburgine or Masarati. No because if you can offer yourself that with no struggle I understand because if I were to have money I will have enjoyed the money too but not when I'm struggling I'm not gonna go and do like a zillion of shifts you know of you know at work just to be able to buy the Mercedes bands because one somebody posts that she or he has a band you know and those things you know before you even know it they they can bring a lot of stress you know anxiety into into our lives and um one of the things so why do we need a car for we need a car to take us from point A to point B so that person has a message that's been limbogini masawadi whatever that uh uh uh the the motor of the car you know and me driving a cam we or a nice or or or what have you I don't want to name all the cars because I have any free any free one is but it's okay because you know it's like your car can take you from point B A to point B. My also can take me from point A to point B. So that's all matters. But like I said that prior if you have the capability or the resources and the means you know to offer you a luxury car oh baby love by all means go ahead and do so but for you who don't have the capabil the means and the resources to do so even when you see it it's okay be comfortable with what you have be comfortable with what what you have don't compare yourself. If you see that some post you know that you know she she or he receives a valuable or expensive gifts from whomever or most likely like partners or or spouses don't don't go and kill yourself to bring something to show that hey you know what we're even whatever your dad your husband or your husband or you know by you a bench me I'm gonna make sure that you know show something that you know higher than that or you have this house so I have to have a bigger house. You have no at the end of the day that will not lead you anywhere all that went gonna bring into your life is stress and eventually that will plunge you into a lot of debts that you may not even be able to pay in another 20 years because sometimes you know I've seen people go and borrow money to buy things just to compare themselves to others come on people we can do better we can do better and we have to do better because we don't need that much stress in our life you know you know comes with natural stress so to add to it we're not doing ourselves any favor. Peer pressure that's another things that affect self-esteem and believe it or not there was a time they used to talk about peer pressure for for kids now peer pressure you know so it's like it seems it's having more adults than it I'm not saying that it you know as a truth but it's to tell you how much you know adults now fall on under that category greatly because it's the pressure pressure of uh social media pressure of society pressure of showing off pressure that hey you know what I have to show you that you know I I am better pressure that I have to show you I have it all pressure that I have no at the end of the day so it's like it's not a good it's not a good thing that will that will affect your mental health and the last uh um one is uh past failure so it's uh it's something that affects that can affect uh self-esteem and like uh I said uh at the beginning there are things sometimes that we do in life or we try to do in life that we may not be succeeding then let's say for example you probably were married and for whatever reason hey it did not last or you were in a relationship that you value so much and for whatever reason it didn't last or you you started a business and you invested in it and something happened you know so those are the examples that I you know so that I can come up with but there are a lot of zillion of examples that I could have used but at the end of the day the fact that you did not succeed while you were trying this or that it doesn't mean that you don't have the capability to do good things it doesn't mean that you don't have capability to do great it doesn't mean that you don't have capability to succeed it just for whatever reason this relationship did not work that situation that you engage yourself into did not work but like I uh said earlier those are just like you know experiences of life and we have to learn grow from them and move on because at the end of the day things always gonna happen it's life it's life you know so I was married for three years five years seven years ten years and hey for whatever reason that marriage fell we fell but it doesn't mean that I am a bad husband it doesn't mean that I'm a bad wife it doesn't mean that I don't know how to keep people to keep a man or it doesn't mean that I don't know how to keep a woman or a partner but one thing that we have to kind of like pay attention to is uh to ask the question what did I do or how did I contribute you know for this to uh to happen so now when you start asking questions and whatever answer that you may come up with so and you have to be honest with yourself because sometimes when we fail in life not too many of us have that courage or capability to say you know what how did I contribute with that and realize you know what if I were to address this this way instead of that way I think that could have prevented this from happening but the minute you ask the question and you can answer the question you ask the question and you can come up with an answer and look yourself in that answer and take responsibility if you were to take responsibility then you're already on the way to build up for a better tomorrow because now you know that happened and you ask the questions to find where you you know where where where you where did you you you mess up in this how did you contribute for that to happen and I always you know and I always use that and believe it or not there are times that when I ask the questions for myself of course as human beings so we tend not to lie not to take responsibility that's one thing we all sometimes try you know because mistakes were made but not by me or we we always have to find a reason you know to blame whatever it is on somebody else or you know what uh the only reason that I did it that way it's because you know if he didn't do that or she didn't do that you know that could have been prevented so that's that's that's us that's us you know and myself including when I said you I don't want to keep on using the word you to you know because hey I'm in it too because I am human and uh it's it you know it's very important very very very important that we know ask the question how did I contribute into that and so and take responsibility because we're not gonna there is no way nobody any of us can get better or have a better tomorrow if we don't take responsibility today it's like the blaming game you him her me all of us we have to stop it how long we've been blaming you know other people or or you know or each other but what did we gain from it for some people I don't know but for many people it's nothing so we have to stop that and uh now so we're gonna address like uh a different uh component of that subject and I have a question and it started with a question why self worth mothers I actually I don't know you know so it's like uh to kind of have uh other people asking questions like I said it's something new for me this is the first time I ever have to do a live youtube but hopefully down the wood so you know I may find a teenager that give me a proper class where I can deliver better but today I question that the fact that people could have you know could have co you know could have just uh stick with me so and they have uh uh the answer to that uh question why self-worth mothers so we have four uh bullet points for that first it's improve mental health second it's build stronger relationships it encourages personal growth and uh lastly it helps with decision making what are the ways uh to build self-esteem there are many ways and we're only gonna address four of those different types of ways the first one is practice positive self-talk it's important it's important and I want to strongly encourage everyone listening or washing it is important ways to be a self-esteem the most I would not say the most important thing but one of the most important you know wants is practice positive self-talk listen now so if I were to say you know what I am too ugly I may never find a man who loves me I'll never be married I'll never be in a relationship or look at me or I look at my you know so I don't like my hair or my nose my nose is too big No. We have to really get into the business of practicing positive self-talk. You know, know that you know, hey, I'm confident. I have a lot of stress. Uh, not stress, I have a lot of strength. I meant to say I'm resilient. Those are positive self-talk. And when I look at myself, I said, you know what, I'm courageous. I am brave. You know? So if I know that I'm brave, whatever that may come my way, that could stand in a way to make me feel, to make me uh uh feel uh a certain way, but because I know that I'm brave and believe in myself that I'm brave, I'll stand to it. If I know that you know, hey, I am pretty. If I know in my heart that I am pretty, you can be you can be as crazy as you want to and try to make me believe otherwise, it will never happen because I already know it. And this is one, this is a talk that I talk to myself every day. When I look myself in the mirror, and I'm like, oh, look at this beautiful face. Oh, I am so ready, you know. So, and I'm you know, you know, look again, and I'm like, okay, I'm ready to walk. It's important because if I don't love this person, if I don't love my body, if I don't love everything in me, how am I gonna look for somebody else to value and cherish that? And guess what? Even if somebody were to value, even if somebody else were to tell me on a daily basis that I'm worthy, because I don't believe in myself, I'm still not gonna believe whomever may tell me. Because it's not in me. I never really place myself in a situation or a position to say, hey, uh Beatrice, you're beautiful. And when I'm talking about beauty, you know, beauty, you know, so it's like we have the outside beauty, but the inner beauty is something that is very significant, and sometimes, you know, I normally hear people say, you know what, beauty fades, you know, the outside beauty fades, but the inner beauty is forever. So, but at the end of the day, you who you are is who you are, and you may try to look like you know, uh let me see. I was trying to use one of my favorite actresses, and uh or actors. I don't know, I have so many in my soul I cannot even come up with some somebody. Oh, let's say you know what, so it's like Aliberry, you know, okay, uh Aliberry, Aliberry, one of my favorites, you know, yeah, I'll say Aliberry. Okay, so now you know, hey, Aliberry is a whoo, it's a beautiful woman, you know, that's her blessing, you know. God bless her with a natural beauty. So, but if I tend not to embrace my beauty, and all I was dreaming, you know, of in my entire life is to look like Aliberry, it's not, it's never gonna happen. It's never gonna happen because she has her own beauty and I have mine. So, you know, I may, you know, I I I may you know acknowledge that she's a beautiful woman, but at the same talking, I have to embrace my own beauty. You know, she's beautiful in her own way, and I'm beautiful in my own way, and I have to talk that talk to myself, not only talk that talk to myself, but also believe it. I have to believe that I am beautiful. Let's say, you know, let's take another example. So, hey, uh, you know, there are some people who like to go to school, they like they just like school lovers. There are people who are just school lovers, but there are people who don't love school, there are people who just love to work, but it's okay. But the fact that you are a school, you you know, you are a school lover and I am not, it doesn't mean that you know I'm not smart. I just don't like school. I like to probably just do a trade and go along with my life. I may be more hands-on in certain things, I may love decorations and say, you know what, I'm gonna decorate. I may even look black won't not be a hairstylist, so hey, that's what I'm gonna do. But you know, so the fact that you know, so I may not be, you know, a doctor, a lawyer, or teacher, or nurse, or you know, you name it, it doesn't mean that I'm not smart, and I cannot just because you know I've been around or encountered those people, you know, in different capacities of my life to say, you know what, each time that I'm in the presence of one of those professionals to like, oh, you know what, I'm nobody. No, I am somebody. I may not choose to go the same route as them, but I am somebody. This mod, I respect whatever that they they they they they embrace in life, you know, to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, nurses, social worker, and you name it. So hey, hey, it just happened that hey, I was I I was I didn't school, I didn't love school that much. But I am still smart. I cannot just like sit down and say, you know what? Oh, you know, I'm not I'm not smart. No, that's not a talk talk to you know to yourself. You know, you're smart, you're brave, you are capable of everything that you put your mind into it. The next one, we have to know how to set small, achievable goals. So when we know it's it's specific set small achievable goals because sometimes we already know the situation, but we put down some goals that we know it will be hard to achieve, and we cannot have goals without plans. Goal without plans, you know what they are, they are just wishes, and uh let's say now, you know, I love you know when I walk, when I watch TVs, I saw those actresses, actors, or you know, singers. So hey, I love, I love to watch them, especially for those who know how to sing, for those who sing with the soul, you know. So I love singing them. There is a guy that I've I love. I oh Lord have mercy. I love that song, and I think you know the guy basically wrote the song just for me. Uh, I think his name is oh, I don't wanna say his name wrong because I don't wanna get uh uh uh uh stood if I say somebody somebody's name won. But uh, I'm just gonna mention the song. I think the song is uh it's you raise me up. Oh Lord have mercy. The guy, like I said, wrote that song just for me. You raise me up to more than I can be. I love this guy. I love listening to it to him, I love listening to Paul Dilabel, I love Michael Jackson, I love those are like, you know, excellent talent. But I cannot wake up tomorrow and say, you know what? Oh, you know what? I'm gonna sing, you know, so try to play the concert and say, you know what, I I'm gonna go to any place where singers normally go. And no, it's a goal, but you know, it's it's a goal that I can achieve, you know, I cannot even sit proper. I cannot even sing proper in a choir. So it's like I may probably at one point in my life have dreamed about becoming a singer, but unfortunately, I never really walked around that. I'm saying that as an example, not in reality, because I don't think you know, like on a personal level that's because I knew from at the very early age that hey, I was not I was not blessed that way. But you know, so I'm taking that example. It's sometimes you know, when we put our goals, you know, or work on them, we have to make sure that goals that we put down, those are the goals that we can achieve. Let's say, for example, now a uh you know, so I'm here and I'm like, oh, you know what? I need to, I need to go to school. So, first of all, if I know that I want to go to school, it's like what I want to learn from school, what the major or the discipline that I want to enroll to. So that's number one. So it's like what school? Am I going to a private school or a public school? Or if I want to go to it, you know, for a trade, so what trade? Am I going for plumbing, electricity, or construction? You know, like what they call the OSHA. They I think they have the OSHA 10 and the OSHA 30. So I have to know. And the my conditions, you know, what how much money that I make. And if I were to go, you know, to school, am I going to, you know, depending on my age, like now, at my age, if I were to go to school, campus will not be an option because I am not one of those teenage, you know, uh kids who just graduated from college and want to go, you know, out of state for college. Now, so it's like if I were to go to school and you know, I have to make plan that hey, I'm living somewhere and I have to pay rent, and I may have other responsibilities, I may have children, I may have a husband, and then you know, so it's like if I were to enroll, so it's like having all those responsibilities. Already know taking like 16 credits per semester will be a no-no for me because if I plan to take 16 classes credit per semester while having kids, husband, and a full-time job. So what will be the time left for me to engage in school? But I still wanna go to school, I still wanna achieve, you know, uh uh uh uh uh that level of education, but I have to be realistic. Okay, I'm going to school now, so it's like I start with one or two classes, so you see, no, so it's like I'm really working set small achievable goal goals now. So I'm going to school and I'm gonna register for one or two classes because, like I said, I have a husband, I have children, I have a full-time job. Or and I may, you know, and for some people, they may even have an elderly parent that they are taking care of. So you wanna achieve this goal, but you wanna take small steps. Or let's say, for example, you want to, you know, to get a job, but you want to get a job where you don't have any skills, uh uh uh uh uh uh any any any uh train skills. So and now I don't have any uh uh any set skills. If I don't have any set skills in terms like you know, I don't have a gala degree, I don't have a trade school uh uh certification. Now, if I were to look for a job, I cannot say, you know what, I need uh a plumbing job. I cannot be looking for a job in electricity, I cannot look for a job in social work, I cannot be looking for a job in uh uh uh what else in nursing because I have to be realistic because I don't have any training, I don't have any any related uh education or training in those fields. So now to know, hey, you know, while I'm looking for a job, what time what type of job I'm looking for, and know how to prep my resume accordingly. The next one is surrounding yourself, you know, surround yourself with supportive people. It is very important. You have to surround yourself with people that are supportive. If they are not, you're not obligated to be around people that will tear you down, you're not obligated to be around people that cannot push you to go higher. You cannot afford to go around people who don't value you. You cannot be you cannot afford to be around people who constantly have to put themselves before you. You cannot afford to be around people who don't trying to help you go. You cannot afford to be around people who only see in you something, someone that they can use when it fits their needs. You have to be around people who see you, who value you, who support you, who believe in you, and who believe that you can achieve great things. And the last one, focus on strength. We all know our weaknesses and strength, but in order to grow, in order to elevate our self-esteem, we have to focus on our strength. You know what is your strength? I know mine, and you know yours, whatever that I identify as my strength, I'm gonna build on them to elevate myself, and I invite you to do the same, and uh I have uh two questions for you. I'm almost done with my um conversation or presentation, whatever I want to call it. My first questions for everybody. What is one thing you appreciate about yourself? You can put that in your comment, and I'm gonna make sure I'll put my in my comment box too. I'm gonna repeat the questions. Actually, I only with one. Let me read the second one, and after that, I'll repeat both of them. And the second one is what is one strength you have now. I'm gonna repeat both of them. The first one, what is one thing you appreciate about yourself, and the second one, what is one strength you have, and we all have strength. We all have something that we appreciate about ourselves. So I'm not gonna tell you about my until I win yours. So now it's a challenge I put out there. Okay, a challenge. You put yours, and I'll put my. So it's just like you know, I do a lot, you know, a live uh uh uh session, but normally I have you know a guest speaker where we talk about different types of subjects. I invite you to visit my channel, like, subscribe, and leave a comment. And like I mentioned just uh a few minutes ago, if you have a topic that is close to heart and you would like for us to address, we'll be more than happy to do so. Before I leave, I wanna close like this. Your wealth is not defined by mistakes, opinions are comparisons. You are valuable just as you are. I'm gonna say it again. Your worth is not defined by mistakes, opinion are comparisons, you are valuable just as you are.