Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
Hello,
I am Dr. Marie Beatrice Hyppolite. I hold a doctorate in Health Science with emphasis on Global Health and master’s degree in social work. I have over 14 years of experience in the field of health and human services.
This podcast is primarily focused on mental health and the quality-of-life elements that affect it such as divorce, death, domestic violence, trauma, toxic relationships, and single parenthood to name a few. It is no secret that mental health challenges continue to profoundly impact modern society although not enough discussion is given due to stigma. Research has shown an increase of 25 % in mental health crises after COVID-19. It is important to have honest, uncomfortable conversations about mental health while being supportive. Although we are interdependent, change begins with the individual, hence “your world.”
I welcome you to join me on my journey and look forward to your responses.
Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
The Narcissism Paradox
The enigmatic world of narcissistic personality disorder unfolds through a thoughtful exploration of what truly separates pathological self-focus from healthy confidence. At the heart of narcissism lies not excessive self-love, but rather a profound redirection of energy inward that prevents genuine connection with others. This psychological phenomenon manifests through grandiosity and a striking absence of empathy that distorts relationships into transactional exchanges.
Andreau Charles guides us through the developmental roots of narcissistic tendencies, revealing how early experiences of abandonment and shame create protective psychological mechanisms that ultimately harm the individual. Through a moving case study of a patient who dissociated from physical differences after childhood ridicule, we witness the gentle therapeutic process of reintegrating disowned parts of the self—a journey requiring both courage and mourning. This work exemplifies how healing from narcissistic patterns demands facing vulnerability rather than avoiding it.
For those working in fields that seem to reward narcissistic traits—politics, marketing, leadership positions—Andreau Charles offers a crucial distinction: wearing the "clothing" of grandiosity for specific purposes differs fundamentally from identifying with it completely. True psychological health allows us to step in and out of roles without sacrificing our capacity for meaningful connection. The path forward lies in embracing what depth psychology calls "good enoughness"—accepting imperfections in ourselves and others while cultivating relationships based on respect rather than exploitation. What parts of yourself might you be disowning, and how might reclaiming them lead to more authentic connections?
Hello everyone, I'm Dr Beatrice Ippolit and this is your World. What are the key characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder and how does it differ from healthy self-confidence? And how does it differ from healthy self-confidence?
Speaker 2:Okay, the DSM talks about those criteria that I mentioned earlier. The part that is different from healthy self-confidence has to do with the grandiosity right and the lack of empathy. Someone who is so grandiose is that they're not able to see anyone else, they're only able to see themselves. It's as if, as what Freud said, the libidinal energy is not outward facing, it's inward facing. So all of that energy for creativity and life is turned inward. Persons just focus on themselves. Turn inward Persons, just focus on themselves. So someone who has healthy self-esteem and self-regard would be able to engage with others while at the same time having understanding about who they are right, feelings that they are of worth, they are valuable. They are valuable, they hurt, they have limitations right, and they have the capacity to empathize with others, with others.
Speaker 2:That's what we want to say is why a person is operating at a normal functioning level as opposed to engaging and, on that, narcissistic place.
Speaker 1:So, in a way, being confident, you know, love yourself and taking good care of yourself and, like you know, admire and always show yourself. Hey, you know what you are worth. You know of everything. So, it's okay. It doesn't mean that you are you know you are narcissistic, right.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't Okay. So we need to have a good enough ego, right, good enough. And so, for the narcissist, nothing is good enough. Nothing is good enough for the narcissist because, as I said, the libidinal energy is focused inwards. Everything is about the narcissist. So, for someone who is healthy and has a good enough ego, they're able to engage with life. They may encounter certain failures and so forth, but they're able to bounce back from it.
Speaker 2:They have that ability and one of the critical thing is that the person is able to have good relationship with others, good and healthy relationship with others with no sense of manipulation, yes, with no sense of manipulation, there's neutrality, there's understanding, there's forgiveness and there's this way of being that is alignment with life.
Speaker 1:Okay. So my next question how will you discuss the world of shame and vulnerability in the development of narcissistic tendencies?
Speaker 2:What we discover is that the person from a young age would have been shamed, right, and so they don't want to look at that. Whatever the case may be, they don't want to look at it. So we have to try, very gently, to help them to see this particular thing that you are avoiding, this part of yourself, this experience that you are avoiding. Let's look at it together in a very soft way. I have an example that I can illustrate. So I have a patient who's experienced abandonment right at a very early age, say around six. Parental abandonment due to migration. So the patient lived in the Caribbean.
Speaker 1:Which can be considered a trauma.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's traumatic and the patient had while growing up. They had a deformity right, a physical deformity, and they were made fun of because of it and they developed, they made fun of, they felt as though they were of no value, no worth, because of this deformity. In addition to that, according to them, they've been abandoned by their parent because the parent is not there to take care of them. And so what happened with this patient is that the patient split off that part of themselves. It's as if that part that is disabled is not active. It's not a part of them, it's as if that part is something else, it's not them. And so now we had to walk very gently along the lines of bringing that part back into self because it belonged to you you cannot dissociate yourself from it.
Speaker 2:And dissociating yourself from it does not do you any good right now. You did it at the time because it was a defense that you utilized, but right now it's no longer needed. So we talk about that and the person cried right. So we had to go through that part of mourning, mourning that part of themselves that they cut off themselves from, and then now having the courage and the support to recollect it.
Speaker 1:So not only you know, you educate the person on who she is, but at the same time you also taught her that, hey, whatever that is part of you, that's what makes you whole.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Whether that to many it may be ugly so, whether that others may make you believe that you should be shameful of yourself because of that situation. But at the end of the day you cannot dissociate yourself from that because you won't be whole. If you kind of say, you know what, let me take this aside and I'm going to live with that part of that. No, so you need everything. So that was pretty impressive.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes. So that's how we. We do it in a very gentle way, as I said, and it's specific to the individual and we're also looking at okay, can this person tolerate the truth in this moment? Can I give them the mirror for them to see the reflection, the shame-filled reflection in this moment, that they can tolerate, incorporate?
Speaker 1:I don't know if you you know, if you will agree with me that the truth may come with some type of pressure as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, but we also want to be mindful. Well for us. We want to be mindful that we don't cause further fragmentation in the individual, whereby they're not able to engage in life after the session would have ended. So tact skill, therapeutic presence and actually knowing where the patient is at in the moment in time.
Speaker 1:All of those things are important to the process. That's very important, Thank you. My next question how can individuals recognize and manage narcissistic behaviors in themselves or others?
Speaker 2:narcissistic behaviors in themselves or others. Okay, so we talk about the confessional component of depth psychology, right? An individual may not fully come out and say, look, I have some narcissistic tendencies and I'm looking to address it in therapy. Oftentimes that's not the case. So what happens is that over time, we're looking at the dream, the dream life of the person, we're looking at how they're functioning in their daily life and we're asking them to be truthful in the process, right? So when they bring the information in, I give the reflection. As I said, I give the reflection back, and the primary reason for that is to help them to see the truth of what is happening, remember, we talk about.
Speaker 2:According to the DSM, one of the criteria is the fantasy and fantastical way of being. So we want to break that fantasy apart, right, and to help them to see the truth and to let them know that you know, you're not that, while you may be thinking that you're that fragile, right, and you're not able to survive here. Yes, you can. And here's how you can, right. And here's how you can right by giving them back, giving them the ego strength so that they can see themselves, see the truth in the particular behavior that is not healthy for normal functioning. And then they will say, ok, well, I understand, I understand that this is a part of me and I can't just throw this part away.
Speaker 2:Now, what do I do with it? That's one of the questions that a patient may ask. But what do I do with it? Well, one of the things is to see well, what are the patterns here for you? When do you become narcissistically inflated? When? When do you become that way? What activates it for you? And when you get to that point, what happens? So we, you, have to do a little bit more probing with the individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you know. You also know that as much that we want to talk about all the negative aspects of narcissistic personality disorder, but there are some other positive components attached to it as well. You know, like you know, for those who are in the marketing field, those who are in politics, so that personality disorder can serve them, you know, into whatever that they do. Yes, so what about if your client is kind of like he's a politician or somebody who is in the sale business? You know sale business. So how will you approach you know that person, because, hey, that person needs a little bit of that personality you know disorder to kind of like boost or sell himself or herself.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay. So I want to do some things with what you're saying there. So, someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder, who? Okay. So there are different types of narcissists. You have the at the extreme level, you have the malignant narcissist. Okay, and I am not engaging with a malignant narcissist therapeutically. I'm not doing that because what we find is that these malignant narcissists are not operating as though they want to have any type of relationship and close connection with anyone.
Speaker 2:So you have the grandiose narcissist and you have the vulnerable narcissist, right or the covert narcissist. And so the grandiose narcissist and you have the vulnerable narcissist, right or the covert narcissist. And so the grandiose narcissist is someone who is out there, maybe someone who is in a very high pressure point position, and the work depends on them functioning in such a big, grandiose way. And that's okay because it has a function. Now, what we want to do with that individual is to help them to see that this job is not who you are. The job is a function, it's a role that you're playing, but this is not the totality of you. So it is as if to say well, okay, I'm going to put on the clothing of the grandiose personality in this moment for this purpose and then at the end of it I take it off and I'm able to relate with other people.
Speaker 1:To relate to connect, respect and care for others, yes, yes. For others, yes so.
Speaker 2:I know you mentioned politicians and those who are working in marketing, and so I have a few people who work in marketing. They're not narcissistic personalities. They're not that. They're people who have big personalities or they have grandiosity, and we look at that together to see well, okay, what is the function, what is the purpose of this, and when do you sacrifice it? There must be a sacrifice right in order for you to have that quality relationship with other people. Otherwise, you'll be by yourself. That's what some people may say. This is the tradeoff. I want to have good relationship with people, but in order for me to do that, I need to sacrifice my grandiosity. I need to hold the tension together, right, so that I can have that relatedness.
Speaker 1:So you know, in a way, you're telling me so okay, these personalities, these others, you know there are some characteristics that may serve you while you are practicing, you know in the field of politics or sales, but at the same talking. So know that this is not who you are.
Speaker 2:It's not who you are you know it's not who you are, okay, and and young talks about this too, because, all right, there's a in terms of the cause for narcissistic personality disorder, one we think that it has to do with deep psychological wounding at an early age, right, and sometimes one may over-identify with the woundedness, right, and they have to develop the personality around the woundedness. And then there are other times when there is an archetypal identification. Someone may be identifying with the hero, right, so the hero is big, he's grand, he needs to go and fight the battle and so forth, but then what happens? Is he continually fighting a battle? Is the hero continually fighting? Where's the rest time? What about the rest time? Right? What, what? What about the rest time? Right, so we're looking at that, we're trying to help the person to see. Well, no identification with the archetype does you tremendous disservice, right? So we want you to not do that okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So sometimes it's easier said than done. You know that would have been a good practice, you know so for many people who exhibit that personality disorder. So it's like to understand, you know, hey, you what? At the end of the day, I may be using this or that because it's benefited me or I can gain from it in that area or this area, but at the same time I have to understand that human beings are human beings and they need to be treated with fairness and dignity.
Speaker 2:And respect and respect.
Speaker 1:My next question what are the implications narcissisms for relationships and mental health, and how can individuals develop healthier relationship patterns?
Speaker 2:So the work any therapist would do with someone who's struggling with narcissistic personality traits, structure, tendencies, is to help them to be more relatable. Right To have compassion for themselves and for them to understand that there is such a thing that is good enough. Right For them to understand and accept the good enoughness in them and in others. Without that, then you will find someone will be operating as a narcissistic personality disorder, according to the, the dsm, and they would not be engaged in any meaningful relationship. It would be a relationship that is exploitative, contractual, transactional, domineering right, and so it wouldn't be something that is functional, functional, yes, and healthy.
Speaker 1:In a way. So it's like, hey, we have to find a way to avoid that at all times.
Speaker 2:At all times. Yes, okay very important.
Speaker 1:How does death psychology inform our understanding of shame and narcissisms, and vice versa?
Speaker 2:How does death psychology inform our understanding of shame?
Speaker 2:and narcissism our understanding of shame and narcissism. What both Freud and Jung agree on is that narcissism is developmental in a way, and primary narcissism is developmental and healthy. Secondary narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder is not right According to those two depth psychologists. The child at age two or three who we will consider a bona fide narcissist you know, the toddler who the whole world revolves around the whole world yes, he or she needs to have that experience as they are navigating the world right, testing boundaries and so on. It helps to build self-confidence and self-esteem, right, and so it is developmental in that sense. And so what tends to happen is that some people are not able to move through that developmental stage to get to that place where they're relating to the environment, they're relating to the other right and the other is separate, apart from and distinct from them. And so what happens with that is that that individual becomes the narcissist or have that strong narcissistic, splitter tendency.