Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
Hello,
I am Dr. Marie Beatrice Hyppolite. I hold a doctorate in Health Science with emphasis on Global Health and master’s degree in social work. I have over 14 years of experience in the field of health and human services.
This podcast is primarily focused on mental health and the quality-of-life elements that affect it such as divorce, death, domestic violence, trauma, toxic relationships, and single parenthood to name a few. It is no secret that mental health challenges continue to profoundly impact modern society although not enough discussion is given due to stigma. Research has shown an increase of 25 % in mental health crises after COVID-19. It is important to have honest, uncomfortable conversations about mental health while being supportive. Although we are interdependent, change begins with the individual, hence “your world.”
I welcome you to join me on my journey and look forward to your responses.
Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
Masculine Aggression: Healing the Warrior Within
Hello everyone. I'm Dr Beatrice Ippolit and this is your World. Let's look at the masculine aggression Now the prevalence According to research, approximately 10 to 20% of men in the US experience issues related to masculine aggression. And, of course, masculine aggression is linked to increased symptoms of substance abuse, violence and relationship problems. You know treatment outcomes such as therapy targeting masculine aggression can lead to significant reductions in aggressive behavior and improvements in emotional regulation. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So in talking about masculine aggression, I want to offer a frame because this is how I work with patients, male patients who are struggling with aggression, and the fact is that we all have aggression right, and we must understand, appreciate and accept the fact that male men have aggression and they will express it in some way or the other right. So the way in which I work this with patients, I want to see what is the archetype that is present, that is informing the expression of aggression right, the expression of aggression right. So when I talk about archetype here, I'm talking about innate biological patterns that exist across cultures, and so an archetypal image of aggression would be a warrior. To be a warrior, it means that you are able to utilize aggression as an energy to affect a particular outcome. Right, and there are two poles of the archetype to defend, to protect and to preserve their family, their home, their community, their land. Right, and those persons may also know how to win a battle, when to go into war and how to win a battle.
Speaker 2:Because it's structured, it's strategic right, there is a level of maturity and discipline that is there in terms of the individual being at that healthy part of the masculine aggression right. On the other hand, the negative side of masculine aggression comes out where the individual has no discipline. It's as if their aggression is like a volcano right, it's like rage, where it just wants to erupt and cause damage and chaos everywhere. Aside from that, the individual may engage in certain self-destructive behaviors like gambling, addiction, hypersexuality, all types of illegal activities. A person may engage in those types of things.
Speaker 2:So I want to know a little bit more about what is the archetypal energy present in terms of how the individual is expressing aggression, aggression, okay. I want to know a little bit more about that. So, how I work with patients, I help them to see that it is okay to express aggression, but you must have an appropriate container for it. If you're going to war, it's okay to express aggression. If you're going to play sport certain type of sport you need that aggressive force to move things. In politics, there are certain ways in which you're aggressive, so there must be an appropriate container for the aggression. And so I tell patients to see well, if you're expressing this emotion in a particular way and it is destructive to you and the community, how do we address that? Do you want to address it? Those are the questions that I ask.
Speaker 1:The other question that I tend to ask it's like the same way you know. So it's like something happened and I'm being very angry about it. So it's like now. So you come and say, okay, you acknowledge the fact that I can be angry.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But at the same time how you want to address it.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we were talking about this before we started recording. You can either choose to express the emotion or repress the emotion, and in the psychological work that we're doing, repressing the emotion is unhelpful to the work right. It may be helpful to the individual at the moment in time, but it's unhelpful to the work, the psychological work that helping you to get to that place of wholeness right. We must understand that there are times in which an emotion needs to be expressed, in which an emotion needs to be expressed like anger.
Speaker 2:Anger is a really powerful emotion because it can help us to advocate for ourselves. It can help us to defend against intrusion right. It can put up boundaries and it can also be destructive. So we have to be mindful as to how is it being utilized. How is this anger being utilized here and what do you want to? How is it being utilized? How is this anger being utilized here and what do you want to do with it? Because there are times when the individual has the opportunity to choose. How am I going to respond to this emotional state that I'm in?
Speaker 1:The other one just came in. Are you going to react to it or respond to it?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, are you going to react to it or are you going to respond to it or respond to it? Yes, yes, yes, are you going to react to it? Are you going to respond to it? So, responding to it helps you to um. It gives you a little bit, it gives you freedom, it gives you that consciousness to make a decision rather than just moving exactly, exactly to it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, exactly, very important, you know, thank, thank you for that information. So it's like now. So I have a few questions for you. How do you help clients access and explore their unconscious thoughts and feelings?
Speaker 2:Yes, so the primary way I work with the unconscious is through dreams. Work with the unconscious is through dreams. So the patient brings in their dream and then we go through the dream narrative. We look for the message in the dream. We look at the message.
Speaker 2:So there are different types of messages, right, you have the personal unconscious, where the dream is providing messages about the personal unconscious, and then you have the collective unconscious, whereby the dream may be providing information about that as well.
Speaker 2:So we're looking at the dream language, we're looking at the tone of the dream, we're looking at the time of the dream and we're looking at the setting of the dream. So all those things will help us, help to guide us to see, well, what is the message here for the weak ego, what is it that psyche is communicating to this individual at this moment in time about? What is it that they need? So that's how we work together. So the dream interpretation process involves those things that I said and it has to do with personal association. So the individual would give me their association of what this particular part of the dream means to them, and then I go through a process of amplification whereby I look to myths within various cultures to see if there are any similarities or messages that the dream is telling me about a particular myth and that myth is going to inform in some ways about what the unconscious is communicating to the individual.
Speaker 1:Okay, my next question how do you establish a therapeutic relationship that fosters choice, safety and emotional expression?
Speaker 2:Yes, that's the main thing. I work from an empathic, grounded space with individuals, space with individuals.
Speaker 1:So I am trying as much as I can to be present with the individual. That's the first, that's the key word.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It could be a struggle at times, right, but I try as hard as I can to be present for the individual and to let them know that I'm sensing and we look at that together and if it is that I have to apologize, I apologize and I repair the process and we continue to work. For some patients, if I err, it's as if it's a catastrophe and they may end therapy altogether, and I understand that. But at the same time, I'm not omnipresent. I'm not an invincible entity. I'm a human being and I may make certain mistakes as well, and part of the work that I do with patients is relational base. So, as I said, if I did something that was a little bit off in a particular way, tell me. Or if I recognize that I did something that was off, I would correct it, right.
Speaker 1:You will correct it, but will you apologize? Yes, of course I would apologize. It's vital to people.
Speaker 2:Of course, when you know that you made a mistake.
Speaker 1:You acknowledge that you made a mistake and you apologize before you say hey, you know what? Let's keep on moving.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I'll give you an example. So, for example, I'm talking to you my patients and I'm talking to you about something and I say so, let's talk about your mother, right, but we're not talking about the person's mother at the moment. And I said so, let's talk about your mother. And in that moment I recognized that okay, no, that's not the right question and I said I'm sorry, let's throw that out. Let's throw that question out, not your mother let's talk about. So right away I pick it up, I apologize, I throw it out, I let the patient respond to me and then we continue.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:It's very important for people to feel respected, of course, of course, and the process is about respect and trust. Indeed right, because I am also trusting the individual to tell me the truth about what's happening with them, and they're trusting me to help guide them through in this process, provide them with the necessary skills that they need to provide them with the holding space that they need in the moment.
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, so how do you differentiate between healthy guilt and toxic shame, and how do you help clients walk through these emotions?
Speaker 2:Those are two very good questions. So healthy guilt, as I said, would be like healthy shame, whereby we understand that we have limitations right. So it depends on what's the situation. So, for example, I may apologize to the patient for not having the mother or the caregiver that they deserved at the time when they really needed that person to hold them, to mold them and to respect their individuality. I may apologize to them.
Speaker 2:In addition to apologizing to the individual, I walk very gently, gently, to go back to that place of shame. Like the trauma work, I work close with them in a gentle way to go back to the shame and to help them to see in that moment that they did not have the power right, they did not have the skill to defend themselves against the person who was shaming them, who was making them feel small, who tried to tell them in that moment that they were of no value. They didn't have the power to do that at the time and I would apologize to them While, at the same time, while at the same time, what I would do and, as I said, it depends on the individual I would help the individual to see that they are not in that space any longer. Right To help them to recognize that what happened to them at that time was wrong, right, it was mean, it was evil, it was demonic, whatever the case may be, and that they are of value. They are of worth and this is the way in which we can recollect that part of yourself that was discarded by this individual.
Speaker 2:Because you know, now you have the power, because we're doing this work together. Yes, so I want to make the individual have that sense right, that confidence for them to walk through that process. On the other hand, if an individual is so inflated, where they're at the end of toxic shame, I'm still gentle with them. I'm gentle with them because a lot of times that individual may not know what what they're doing is destructive. So I'm gentle with them, helping them to see, like, walking them around the shame image in a way that they can tolerate it. They can tolerate the image of shame, the tone of it.
Speaker 1:Even you know. You know. Help them, developing insight into the situation. Yes, Because you may have clients who come to you don't even understand or don't have any insight of the reality. Now you have to be patient and walk around them. Yes, you know, the true education to help them really understand what is really going on. Yes, yes, as you said, the gentleness is needed to help them really understand what is really going on.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, as you said, the gentleness is needed because remember that they are inflated. They're big. They may be bigger than me. They may think that, oh, who is this guy? What is he telling me? I know more than him. I had instances where patients were like that to me. Of course, it didn't work out. But for those who are with me right now working, we are looking at okay, how do we sacrifice this grandiosity that you have here? And if you sacrifice it, what do you imagine will come up for you, right? So we talk about that too, in a very gentle way.
Speaker 1:You know what? That's one of the requirements of this field. Yes, you know, we have to be patient, we have to be gentle. Yes, and, most likely, we have to be respectful. Yes, that's something that we have to keep in mind when working with people, and it doesn't matter which capacity. Yes, that's something that we have to keep in mind when working with people, and it doesn't matter which capacity. Yes, yes, how do you?
Speaker 2:help clients develop healthier forms of masculinity and express emotions in more authentic way. Yes, how I do that? I normalize feelings. That's that's the main thing. I normalize the feelings Because, for us men, we have a delayed response to feelings. You know, we may experience emotional stuff and we're not able to connect with it Right. So my work with patients, male and female, is to get them to understand that, okay, it's all right to have feelings, it's okay, that's fine. Now, as I said earlier, let's look at it together. What is the function of this feeling here? Because there is a purpose for emotions. It tells us what is happening and it gives us the opportunity to decide and to make choices of how to respond not react, how to respond. So all of it happens around that. It is okay. It's okay to be in rage, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be in grief, it's okay. All of those things are okay.
Speaker 1:Like you said earlier, it's how we're going to approach them. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:You know how we're going to do it.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and it depends on the individual, it depends on the emotion, it depends on what is bringing the emotion up, because this is one thing we didn't really talk about about, which is complexes. So there are different types of complexes and according to Carl Jung, again, he tells us that complexes are as if they are spin to personalities, where they operate as though they have a mind of their own, and the way in which we know that a complex is constellated or it is present is through an emotional tone. So the person is feeling a particular emotion, right, and they may not know exactly where this emotion is coming from, but it's coming from a complex, okay. So we will have to, and in the work we'll try to figure out. Well, okay, you're having these emotions, let's see what is behind the emotion, which complex is attached to it, which archetypal energy is attached to this, right. And so to help the patient to have more consciousness, more understanding about how is it this emotion is coming up, what is bringing it up, and helping them to find a way to self-regulate.
Speaker 1:Very good point. What role do you believe therapy can play in addressing and preventing masculine aggression and violence?
Speaker 2:Oh, therapy can play a significant role in, oh, therapy can play a significant role in reducing the level of masculine aggression and violence towards the male himself, his family and the community at large. Because what therapy does and depth psychological therapy, what it does does? It gets you to see yourself. It gets you to see those parts of yourself that you've split off, that you've rejected, that you've projected onto people.
Speaker 1:It gets you to see that it's like it's help you uh, kind of like do a throughout assessment of your own self.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's a process where you're walking around, looking yourself is in the center, right, and there's all these parts of you that split off and you're walking around picking it up, putting it back in the center.
Speaker 2:Walking around picking it up, put it back into the center. So the masculine man who is aggressive and comes to therapy and learns how to contain his aggression is of tremendous benefit to himself and his community. And one of the ways in which a man can contain his aggression outside of therapy is to engage in some type of like judo or karate or taekwondo or something like that. Because in those settings oftentimes he's paired up with someone who is more skilled than him, and so that person has already mastered in terms of containing his aggression. He knows how to do so. He knows how to do so. So in that setting, the man who is aggressive he cannot damage the other man, his aggression cannot destroy the other man, right? Because that man is more powerful than him. He's able to move his body in such a way where the aggression that flows to him just moves aside, and so he knows in this space it is safe for him to express his aggression and that he wouldn't damage the other person. So I think that's what's helpful Very much so, Very much so.
Speaker 1:And I have two more questions. How do you integrate death cycle therapy, shame work and exploration of masculine aggression into your therapeutic upwash?
Speaker 2:Okay, again, it comes back to that walking around, as I said, Because I work from this depth psychological space, that's where I work and I'm working with the patient, walking around, picking up those parts In a very gentle way. I'm looking at what is happening intrapsychically through the person's dreams, what is happening intrapsychically through the person's dreams, and I am also looking at what slip, what type of expression, is happening in the therapeutic space. In addition to that, at a lesser extent, I'm looking at the type of the individual, the personality type of the individual, if this individual is extroverted or introverted. So I'm utilizing all those theories and components, I'm utilizing all of those things to inform me, but they're just there in the background. What is most important is me being present with the individual in the here and now and seeing having them be reflected right. I'm reflecting back to them what it is that they need in that moment, right, holding space for the individual. That's what the process is about.
Speaker 1:Okay, so my last one. Okay, I told you okay. You said two questions. How do you prioritize and address the intersectionality of shame, masculine aggression and other social and cultural factors in the therapeutic relationship?
Speaker 2:Okay. So, as I said, the psyche is also outside of us, so it's inside, it's also in the culture. So there's space in the work for us to bring things that are happening in the culture, things like current event issues. We may talk about that. For example, we know that we have a new president now, donald Trump. There's a lot of issues that are occurring in the public space. People have been fired, people, family, are losing jobs and people are being told that they only got a job because they were a DEI hire right. That shame base like reducing the individual and people are feeling deportation.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and the deportation raids that are occurring right, this shame-based way of othering people of color in America has been given a dose. It's as if Donald Trump and his compatriots have the the American public the okay to behave in a way that is disrespectful and shame-filled towards people who are of color African-American, women, immigrants, all these things. Some individuals come into the therapy session and they're frustrated because of what's happening right. They themselves, who would have identified with one of these identities that Donald Trump is attacking, comes in and we have to look at what is it that is being placed upon them, this projection right to make us feel as though we are less than that, we didn't earn our places right, and to make us feel as though we're worthless. So I look at all of that with the patient and to help them to know the truth. The truth is, we are not less than. That is not the truth.
Speaker 2:Those of us who have been working in in various spaces, who've been to school and get degrees and skills and so on, and we are working in various places. We are there because they hired us, they wanted our skills Right, and so that's one of the things that I help to remind patients about that they want us, right, and it's not like we're giving them our service for free. They're paying for it and so, if it is that you don't feel comfortable operating in this space any longer, just know that you don't have to stay there. You can move, you can go somewhere else, you don't have to be in prison. So I help to strip away this notion of worthlessness when it comes to identities. Right, I strip that away with the patient, to help to give them that empowerment, so we have them to recognize that. Okay, I guess I have worked. Yes, this is true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I like the way you say. You know, it's like you give them that empowerment. Yes, it's important because it's a valuable thing to do when you have the capability to work with people, to empower them, to make them see things in a different way, to pull them out of that shame environment and make them feel that hey, you worry, you're more than what they say, that you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:That's, you know, very important, that you know. Yes, that's it all very important. That you know that's a very interesting what you're doing out there. Thank you, thank you now. So it's like before you, you know. So we say we're not gonna conclude without having, like you know so, or any idea of about your business, yes, and where to find you if we may be in need of your services.
Speaker 2:Okay, so my, my business is Ariel, counseling and wellness. Ariel is spelt a re a le counseling and wellness. You can put out in Google, you'll find me. You can also google my name on draw Charles a nd are eau Charles, and you'll find me. You can also Google my name Andro Charles, a-n-d-r-e-a-u Charles, and you'll find me. I'm on social media. Just Google those two names.
Speaker 1:You don't have an email address If someone wants to email me directly.
Speaker 2:it's info at Ariel Counseling and Wellness.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what are your hours of services?
Speaker 2:good question. So I work Tuesdays to Fridays and I work from 10 to 7 pm. 10 am to 7 pm. I am in the office at 19 West 34th Street in the penthouse.
Speaker 1:I'm there on Thursdays, oh okay, You're not looking for any employees. Mitchell Schultz.
Speaker 2:We can talk about that. So I'm in the office on Thursdays where I see patients in person, and if an individual wants to see me on another day, I will try to work it out with them so that I can see them in person as well. So I work seeing patients in person and providing them with telehealth therapy.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, that's very important Since after COVID, a lot of people tend not to go places or seek for services you know like directly or in person. You know so it's like they like the comfort of being home and receive the services via zoom. So, yes, I think it's very convenient. When you have a client, you know you can do either zoom, either phone or you know so it's like it's very convenient. So me, I'm I I tend to be very old-fashioned. I need to have that physical interaction with my therapist if I were to see one.
Speaker 2:So I have the ability to offer that on Thursdays, as I said, and if the individual wants it another day during those days where I'm working I may be able to go into the office and to offer that, but primarily Thursdays I'm in the office and I see I have a bunch of patients that I see in the office on Thursdays.
Speaker 1:Is there any office number that you know people can call if they choose?
Speaker 2:to call. However, the best way to reach us is to use our email address or to find us on our website and send us a message through the website.
Speaker 1:Or just walk through.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you can't walk through. You can't walk through at all. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to call. You can call, as I said, and you can send an email or send us a message through the website To make an appointment.
Speaker 1:To make an appointment.
Speaker 2:To make an appointment. Okay, and I'm also on psychology today, oh, okay, you are. Yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you are about to graduate, you know, to finish with your doctorate degree too.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I'm working on my doctorate at Pacifica Graduate Institute. I was doing a doctorate in Jungian and Akrotipo studies, but I switched from that and I'm now doing a doctorate in depth psychotherapy, integrative therapy and healing practices.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me be curious. So what kind of pushed you to go and address this area of psychology?
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I went to graduate school and I wanted to be a therapist and I did the clinical social work training at the graduate level. I went to NYU and did advanced clinical training there too, and the training is a wonderful training in the sense that it offers us critical insight in how to be a clinical social worker. Right. But I wanted something more depthful. I wanted something that is that deals with the soul, with the totality of the human being, and I found that depth psychology To be able to ask a client holistically, holistically.
Speaker 2:So I find depth psychology offers that, and Pacifica Graduate Institute is one of the best depth psychological schools in the entire world.
Speaker 1:Right, I know that you have some resources that you want to leave us with, so yes you know. So what are?
Speaker 2:they. So the there. There are lots of books that I in that helped me to inform the way in which I work therapeutically with patients, but there are two books that I think are beautiful, useful, practical, that anyone can use outside of the therapeutic space, and one of them is King Warrior, magician Lover, which is discovering the archetypes of the mature masculine, by Robert Moore, and this is this is the book here, so I was referring to the warrior, right, the warrior archetype, so part of what Robert talks about here informs my work. Oh, okay, and then I also have this book, which is a New York Times bestseller. It's Healing the Shame that Binds you. This is by John Bradshaw and it's the extended edition Healing the Shame that Binds you, and he goes into shame in families, how shame is developed and how to get out of it as well, okay.
Speaker 1:Yes, how to unlock herself from shame. Okay, thank you. So I'm going to check them out myself, because I didn't know about those books for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, so thank you for sharing You're welcome, because I didn't know about those books for you. So thank you for sharing. You're welcome, dr Beatrice. I just want to say that I'm honored to appear on your podcast. It's been a privilege. I am really happy that we reconnected at this moment in time and I apologize that it took this long for us to reconnect and I hope that we're able to connect more often on and off of the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're going to have to come back to this podcast a zillion of times and I must say thank you to you because I remember, you know, the night that I showed you the text and I said so, hey, I want us to do this, and you were like, oh no, why not right on the spot? So you were like I'm in and I really appreciate that. So, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much, you know, and hey, like I just mentioned, we're gonna have a lot of other shows to do together.
Speaker 2:Okay, it was a pleasure having you, you know.
Speaker 1:So we are pushing to the end of our show. You bought me champagne, yes, to celebrate, yes, and you have a lot to celebrate as well. In two years you're gonna be dr Charles. You know you already have your own business and you are moving, and you are moving in the right direction. And for all of those things that you have accomplished, I salute you. Cheers, I'll see you next time. It was with you, dr Beatrice Ippolit, with your war.