Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
Hello,
I am Dr. Marie Beatrice Hyppolite. I hold a doctorate in Health Science with emphasis on Global Health and master’s degree in social work. I have over 14 years of experience in the field of health and human services.
This podcast is primarily focused on mental health and the quality-of-life elements that affect it such as divorce, death, domestic violence, trauma, toxic relationships, and single parenthood to name a few. It is no secret that mental health challenges continue to profoundly impact modern society although not enough discussion is given due to stigma. Research has shown an increase of 25 % in mental health crises after COVID-19. It is important to have honest, uncomfortable conversations about mental health while being supportive. Although we are interdependent, change begins with the individual, hence “your world.”
I welcome you to join me on my journey and look forward to your responses.
Your world with Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite
Managing Holiday Anxiety and Stress
Unlock the secrets to navigating holiday stress with grace and resilience. Join us as Dr. Beatrice Hyppolite and Father Rigaud Lucon share their expert insights on understanding and managing anxiety, particularly during the festive season. This episode promises to provide you with a deeper understanding of how anticipatory anxiety differs from stress, worry, and depression, and how it can sneak into your life through the pressures of holiday expectations. Through their engaging discussion, you'll uncover strategies to transform these challenges into opportunities for joy and connection.
Dive into the essence of giving and community support with Father Rigaud Lucon as he discusses the profound impact of generosity during the holidays. Whether it's through simple acts of kindness or more organized efforts like gifting to children and supporting shelters, the conversation highlights how these gestures not only spread cheer but also help combat seasonal anxiety and grief. By embracing empathy and compassion, listeners can create meaningful connections that enrich their own experiences and those of others, even amidst social pressures or the absence of loved ones.
Empower yourself with practical self-care and planning tips that Dr. Hyppolite offers to help maintain well-being during the holiday hustle. With advice on setting boundaries, saying no, and prioritizing personal needs, you'll learn how to control your schedule and emotions effectively. From engaging in hobbies like journaling and nature walks to enjoying moments of solitude or companionship with pets, discover how these activities can alleviate stress. This episode equips you with the tools to ensure that your holiday season is both manageable and genuinely enjoyable, fostering a sense of balance and satisfaction.
Hello everyone. I'm Dr Beatrice Ippolit, and this is your World. Today we have the privilege to have with us one more time Father Wigo Luton. Last time Father Wigo was with with us. We spoke about grief. Today, we're gonna speak about a very special topic uh.
Speaker 2:Thank you, dr betty sparringman, once again and in your wonderful show, and hi to everyone. Our topic for today is a very uh important topic called anxiety, is a very important topic called anxiety around the holidays.
Speaker 1:Very interesting and why that topic is important.
Speaker 2:Well, before saying why, let me just elaborate for my viewers. What anxiety is not right. Anxiety is not stress, it's not worry. It's not depression right, because, as you know, stress is generally a response to an external factor. Any trigger right, and that can really impact someone's, but that will eventually go away when the problem has been resolved. That's why we don't pay too much attention to stress, by the way. As a matter of fact, stress is a good thing. We need some stress to better perform at work and any tasks that we are having, and also too much stress breaks us down. But some stress increase performance and too little stress keep us stuck right. So we need some stress in order to move forward effectively. Worry in and of itself is not that bad, by the way. People who worry are those who care, right. But worry becomes a problem is when it becomes unmanageable.
Speaker 1:Now, it's all out of hand that's what happened then.
Speaker 2:Now I say you know what it keeps you awake at night. Now that might lead to the little anxiety. So in that sense, anxiety is now an external factor. Anxiety is now an external factor that causing you to worry constantly or worrying too much about so many things that will adversely impact your daily functioning, meaning your relationship, your, your work performance and whether it's, you know, the romantic all these things all together. Now sometimes we tend to confuse anxiety with depression, right, because of the. There are so many factors that are very common between the two yeah, it's very difficult sometimes to differentiate anxiety from depression.
Speaker 2:Well, put it that way If you have a battery, for instance, when the battery is just like 50% charged, it's like you have just with the bar here, maybe 60% nice kind of anxiety, it looks like. And when the battery is below 50, now when you're out of charge, that's depression here.
Speaker 1:so anxiety has to do with all the future events, right? So basically, anxiety when your anxiety level is not being treated or addressed appropriately, then that can lead you to depression Come back Because, as you can see, they are all interconnected Stress, worry, anxiety and depression.
Speaker 2:But the two extremes are depression and anxiety. Depression has to do with the past. You get stuck in the past here. You feel like you know, when you use all these words, should of cooled off, bulldog, you, you, you wish that you could undo the past. That's keep you stuck in the past. Meanwhile, anxiety has to do with the unknown. Uncertainties feature situations, right. Future situations right. It's like you are worrying about things that might happen but in reality they may never happen, right. So that's why anxiety is sometimes hypothetical, so they are not based on facts. They are not real problems to begin with, but it's things that might happen in the future but may never happen Now. All this requires clinical attentions. That's why we clinicians we do address anxiety and depressions right.
Speaker 2:For today's talk, we'll focus more on what they call anticipatory anxiety resulting from this holiday celebration, and I'm trying to make it more inclusive here. Talking about holidays, I'm not talking about only Christmas. Here I would like to include the Kwanzaa and also the Anoka. Christmas is, for the Christians, right. We are preparing, by the way, today we begin with the Advent season that will lead us to the Christmas celebration four weeks from now, but the Kwanzaa celebration is the celebration that is used for the African-American. They use that celebration to celebrate the cultural inheritance values from the culture. It starts right after Christmas, on the 26th of December, until January 1st. It coincides, in a sense, with Hanukkah. That falls around the same time, one day after Christmas, right?
Speaker 2:So whether you are celebrating Kwanzaa, whether you are celebrating Christmas, whether you are celebrating Hanukkah, all these wonderful celebrations, they always bring about anxiety, right? Yeah, that's what we are going to talk about today. So I've learned those things right there from my clients. For instance, anticipatory anxieties. They come from social and personal expectations. The demands are. There are so many causes of that and, again, remember, they are anticipatory. We are thinking about what might happen. You guys see that may never happen. Once that some clients are saying oh, my god, my mother is coming for the holidays, for Christmas, you know, for the holiday season. I don't want to deal with her, right? I don't want to be around her because she will be talking too much about my family business and already thinking about what will happen in our Christmas season.
Speaker 1:If your mother comes.
Speaker 2:The anxiety is already on the roof, so that's why we are going to talk about that today. We're going to give some tips how to go about these celebrations and how to make that celebrations not only about people and stuff I know that you mentioned some causes yes but what the triggers could be there are so many causes.
Speaker 2:for instance, we have, rather, on these holidays, too many responsibilities, right, and we have to cook, we have to decorate the house, we have to buy stuff, and sometimes we do have some unpleasant memories surrounding these holidays, right, and sometimes blaming yourself and others when things go wrong, and it's a lot of external factors triggers that causes people really to feel anxious around these holidays. So this needs to be addressed again. We have also more causes as well. Let me see what I have here and again. Some people they are moving away, sometimes from family and friends. I'm talking to the immigrants, right, by the way, talking about the immigrants, not too long ago, after the election of November, the result right, there were so many clients that came to therapy talking about what might happen after January 6th. Right, with all the news, fake news on TV, on radio, they are freaking out because they might lose Uncle Joe, they might lose Auntie Janet. All this thing, you know already creates a huge surge of anxiety among the people in Mount Athanaday.
Speaker 1:We don't know for a fact whether this or that will be happening. It's just like people speculate about, oh you know what. This may happen, that may happen, but at the end of the day, we're not dealing with what people are saying so, all these causes sometimes may cause people to use some unhealthy coping mechanism.
Speaker 2:Right, the mechanism are the tools that people use to overcome their emotions, but when they are healthy, like you know, do some debriefing mindfulness techniques that can help you solve that one, mindfulness techniques that can help you solve that one. But meanwhile, because holiday celebrations bring about so many, you know, festivities, you know, and other food and drugs together, food and drug would be available for people and they will sometimes eat more than they were supposed to and drink more than they were supposed to. That can lead, you know, to a very adverse impact on their mental well-being, also physical wellness as well. So all these things will be the result of feeling good sometimes or to serve themselves as self-medicating around this holiday, and what will society's expectations raise in it?
Speaker 2:Well, remember these holidays, basically they are not really focusing on what they are meant to be. You know, for instance, let's talk about Christmas for the Christians and Hanukkah for the Jewish community, right, and also the Kwanzaa for the African Americans. So they are focused not really on these celebrations themselves but on consumerism, right, it's like buying stuff. The focus now is more on people, stuff and what people expect of them. You know that's the locus here People, expectations and stuff. So we are living in a society where consumerism is what you know, drives people. You know, people are driven by consumerism. It's like buying shopping all the time, especially those, those who are not in the healthy relationship. Sometimes they feel so lonely, there's a void inside, empty, so they are trying to compensate with that, you know, and seeking for happiness or joy of the season where that joy cannot be found Buying stuff, they buy stuff, they buy stuff, they buy stuff.
Speaker 1:And after the holiday, and sometimes stuff they don't even have a need for. That's what happens, you know.
Speaker 2:They may have gifts, they may never unwrap it around Christmas, but the problem is they are looking around to get stuff and to feel good. That's what happens around Christmas. That increases people's anxiety Not knowing what to do and how to please others and to meet others' expectations.
Speaker 1:And financially, there is a stress component associated with it as well, because while people may be looking forward to spend money to buy stuff here and there, oftentimes they may not have the financial needs to do so.
Speaker 2:And added to that, what about wasting time and energy to look for gifts for someone? When you send that gift to that person and they show no appreciation of that gift, it's that the gift is given but not being received. It's so painful that can lead right away to depression. That means I'm not being evaluated or accepted. You know, all these things can really increase. Again. Look at the gift itself. Is he or she going to like it? Again, to get the gift itself, is he or she going to like it? It's sufficient already to increase that anxiety around this holiday celebration.
Speaker 1:But you believe that it's important or necessary for people to really embrace the idea of giving somebody a gift, even if they don't have the financial means to do it.
Speaker 2:Well, what we do know, Christmas, for instance, is a time of sharing, giving away, right, so we give. That's a tradition. Sometimes we try to stick with traditions, right, we give away.
Speaker 1:And there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I mean, I do love my Christmas card, I do love my Christmas gift as well, but it's not what holidays are all about. So the point we're trying to focus here I want to invite the viewers to focus not on the world expectations, but on the meaning of the holidays. Okay, having the focus on the holidays themselves, okay, that's very. Having the focus On the holidays Themselves. That will decrease your anxiety, you know.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That's one thing I want my viewers Would get about it. What Are you celebrating? What is the purpose Of Christmas For you Christians? What is the purpose Of Kwanzaa For? What is the purpose of Kwanzaa for the African Americans? What is the purpose of Hanukkah for the Jewish community? What is the essence of this celebration, as opposed to how to please people around it, how to make others feel good around these celebrations?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's like there's nothing wrong to try to make someone feel good, because it's a good thing If I come and see somebody who may be in need to step in to make you feel good, so it's a wonderful thing to do do. But I must have the capability, both emotionally and financially, to fulfill that need that you may have. But if I don't have those resources, it's okay that I don't offer anything because I don't have it that's the way.
Speaker 2:That's a good point that you just made here. Giving is a wonderful thing. As a matter of fact, the one who gives receives more joy than the one who receives, right? So when you give it's a way to you know you give out of gratitude. You say that you know what, if I've been so blessed to go that far here? I am not the best, but it's all grace. So now, in your turn, you become a source of blessing for those around you, right? That's why you give. That's why we encourage people to reach out to those who are less fortunate in our communities.
Speaker 2:Remember, with that spirit of Christmas itself, and people are expecting stuff. It's very among children, right. Children are expecting to have some gifts under the Christmas trees. I mean, it's a must for them, right, but not every parent can afford that. And that's why those who have, it's a wonderful thing around Christmas to reach out to your neighbors, then those next door, those who are not that fortunate, to allow them to celebrate, you know, a Christmas. Having some little gifts. That's a good thing as well. You know, in the spirit of sharing and celebrating Christmas.
Speaker 1:And I'm glad that you mentioned that. In the Catholic Church you were a priest and I've seen it in a few Catholic churches that I normally go to. Around Christmas they will have the Christmas tree, but with no decoration. They will have the Christmas tree, but with no decoration. Correct what they will use. They will use little cords with kids, not their names. They sometimes put their age Correct and ask the community or the parishioners to buy a gift for those kids Correct. And I always take great pleasure and joy to do it because I know if I'm able to put some smile on a child's life, that will brighten my day or my season. And I think it's a good practice for the church to do because it's like you have the entire community. There may be people coming to church who have kids and will not have money to provide their children with any present around the holidays, but they know that they can count on the church that they attend to to help them get a little something to put a smile on their children's faces.
Speaker 1:So, it's a beautiful thing and I encourage that.
Speaker 2:And also we not only think about children as well, we think also about those who are in shelters too. So in my churches, you know, we used to collect items you know good stuff, by the way and we can send them to different shelters in the city and we send them in a way that we say to them, we think about them as well and we send clothes. We said you know all the basic needs that they need so that they can also celebrate Christmas with dignity as human beings.
Speaker 1:And there are some very good non-profits out there who, around the holidays, will put bags together. So many times I was privileged to volunteer, you know, to help put bags together, so, and they put whatever that they can possibly collect from people and to just put a smile on people's face, because it's important to be present in others' lives, absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's a way also to coexist with others. Being with others know, volunteering and helping on to make a positive difference in the life of those around you throughout, throughout these holidays, is very important.
Speaker 1:So if you were to describe some symptoms you know of anxiety around the holiday, what that would be.
Speaker 2:Well, the symptoms can be to each his own. There is is no one size fits all, you know, for what works for me may not work for you. And then it can manifest in so many ways, you know, and for some others during these holidays, of course, will be their social events, you know. You know, dealing with Uncle John or Auntie Janet, you know what I'm getting from my children, my husband, you know that can lead to some physical symptoms like heartbeat, right, heartbeat, and other people might say, oh my God, my mind is going 90 miles an hour. Right, your heart, your mind is racing. These are some symptoms that you can experience during the holiday. Also, it could also be that you are so hyper, alert, right, it's like you are in the fight or flight mood.
Speaker 1:You know, spoke about grief and you mentioned, like the loss of a loved one, how that can create some emptiness into the entire family and around the holiday. That can also play a major role absolutely you're gonna have to deal with those empty tables yeah, have to deal with those empty tables.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like it's not only. It's not only. The loss can be physical, it also, uh, non-physical loss as well. For instance, uh, let's say that a couple who happen to be divorced this year, right, or it's the same thing as a widow as well. It's going to be the first time I'll be celebrating christmas without my husband or my, my wife, or maybe the one who is mourning the loss of a loved one. That would be the first time we'd be sitting around the table with an empty chair, right? So in that sense, yes, that will change the meaning of Christmas for those people as well.
Speaker 1:Or your kids can go away for college or get married, correct, move to a different city. Now, as a family, you cannot be together for this holiday to celebrate as a whole, so that can bring some anxiety for. Both the parents and the kids who are away.
Speaker 2:And isolation during this holiday is very prevalent as well, and depression as well, because not having people around to be with you tend to isolate yourself. Right, as you said, isolation is detrimental to the body, Just as you smoke six packs of cigarettes a day. So my advice to all the people doing this holiday don't be alone. You don't have to be alone. Even when you live alone, you don't have to be alone. That's why you can find ways to reach out to others. If you are alone, you can reach out to others. You can even volunteer yourself.
Speaker 2:Go, do you know, because there are so many organizations right now they are trying. You are alone. You can reach out to others. You can even volunteer yourself. Go, do you know, because there are so many organizations right now they are trying to reach out to others and go do something positive. And I was watching doing Thanksgiving in the Bronx and Dr Pastor Al, you know. He had a center over there for Thanksgiving dinner and I heard so many people saying that, oh man, my kids are all the way to Georgia or California. I have no family members around. So by joining those people here, I feel like I have a family. You know, you don't have to stay at home alone in isolation because you have no one around, or is it also?
Speaker 1:a time, but that can be a choice. If this is a choice that you want to make, just to be home alone, because, hey, you want that me time, absolutely.
Speaker 2:By all means.
Speaker 1:so you can do that. Like for Thanksgiving, I choose to stay in bed until 12. That's how I wanted it to be, you know. But I was not depressed or I was not anxious. I didn't even cook that day, but I just wanted to have that moment for myself. And if it is something that somebody wants to experience, by all means the person can experience it, but, like you said, not to isolate yourself, because if you feel that you're panicking, you're stressed out and you're anxious, then that's not a good thing. Like Father Hugo said, find somewhere to go.
Speaker 2:Even at this time, you can also treat yourself right. Treat yourself. If you receive no gifts from anyone, get yourself a gift. No, get yourself a gift, you know. And also, if nobody invites you to come over for dinner, go to a restaurant, go out. Do something for yourself, right, and it doesn't have to be fancy man. You can go to a Starbucks, you know. Just do something for yourself, you know. Don't stay in the house, because isolation is not a good thing for the mental itself.
Speaker 1:And when you go out. So you know, one way or the other you're going to find somebody to engage with.
Speaker 2:Even if you have nobody to engage with. By sitting, you will be observing people enjoying life, laughing. Remember, joy is just contagious right. By witnessing people who are so happy, you will also share their joys as well. It's better than to go out to meet with others as opposed to stay at home alone.
Speaker 1:Or you can go to the mall and do window shopping.
Speaker 2:Walking around. That's a way to get yourself out, you know, during this holiday. And also, like you just said, you can also try to have your own time. If you've been working, you know nights and days, you may say you know what my plan for this holiday is to reboot myself. You stay home, you have, you know, you have a plan. That's the whole thing. You need to have a plan for this holiday. In that plan, if you are in a family setting, for instance, you discuss with your husband and wife what things, what are we going to do, how are we going to plan this holiday? And people will be inviting you right and left.
Speaker 2:You can't say yes to everyone at the same time. You might choose to say you know what we're going to. I would just twice during the entire holidays and we'll do Y or Z things for ourselves. And you should be able to take control of your holidays and there will be a time you will have to say yes. But other times you have to say no without feeling guilty, saying no without explaining yourself, because, after all, no is a complete answer, right? You don't have to over explain yourself as to why you can't make it. That's the choice that you make by having a plan to navigate these holiday seasons that will give you some control over yourself. Remember what insight is all about. It's the fear of losing control of something or someone, right Having that you set boundaries right there for yourself. As a matter of fact, every time you say no to someone, you say yes to yourself.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Therefore, take ownership of your holidays and to focus on the meanings of these holidays okay, the anxiety around one holiday can impact family relationships.
Speaker 2:It's a great deal. You know. One thing I just mentioned before is, uh, blaming each other. Let's say that. Remember, we have so much to do during these holidays and celebrations. Sometimes, family members, they have the higher expectations of each other and I say to my clients all the time why you think that your family members are pushing your button all the time? Because they made them. They created this button for you. They know exactly how to tap them to get you to where they want to get you.
Speaker 2:So do not allow that to happen. Let's say that you are cooking a dish and the dish gets spoiled. I mean it's at the end of the world. You made a mistake for that dinner. I mean you's at the end of the world. You made a mistake for that dinner. I mean you will make it better next year. Yeah, so allow yourself. People will survive, of course. Allow yourself, you know. Give yourself that permission to make mistakes. If it happens, say, well, I'm sorry it happened that way, but next year I promise I will make it better. But next year I promise I will make it better, as opposed to feel guilty, to blame yourself, to feel like you are a failure, you are this and that.
Speaker 1:And it's supposed to be okay too, father. Let's say, for example I know family members who have that mentality to gather for every holiday at a different family member. Let's say, for example, if the rest of the family wanted for that Thanksgiving dinner or that Christmas dinner to be held at my house and for whatever reason, I'm not there, there I'm entitled to say no, not this, you right well, this is what they call conditions, right?
Speaker 2:I mean no no.
Speaker 1:When I say no, I cannot, you know, make my house available, because sometimes people may have things going on and not yet ready to explain correct everybody. So there may be something going on where I cannot really gather people around for this time. But if I say no, I cannot have that event be held at my house. So that should not be an issue it shouldn't be.
Speaker 2:Remember what I said before you are entitled To say yes or no Dependings on what you plan around this holiday. What if you plan something else around the same time? So you have to give priority to to whom first. You know First thing first. That's why I said we need to have a plan as we go around these holidays to decrease anxiety Exactly what you want to do and how many events you plan to attend. To begin with, if you check your list, say okay, I'm going to attend Auntie Janie dinner today and Uncle Jeff's over there the next day. The rest of the time is for my family. You call it a day.
Speaker 1:And why do you think it's important to make a plan or to have a plan?
Speaker 2:Because when you have a plan, you have a sense of control.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because, remember, anxiety is about fear of unknown and uncertainties. When you lose control of something, of someone, you go crazy. Right, the demise is going 90 miles an hour, but when you're planning ahead, you have a sense of what is next. That will give you autonomy over you and over your emotions.
Speaker 1:And I think you know, that will give you control over your spending as well.
Speaker 2:You have a budget as well. That's a good thing. Also, you know, in that planning, have a budget and say, okay, for this holiday, I intend to spend X amount of dollars. When it's spent, you call it the day, because, after all, you have to have a budget Because, like I said before, sometimes during these holidays people tend to feel lonely or depressed, so they are trying to compensate, you know, by doing shopping. You know, with the online shopping, now you don't have to go out. So, having the credit card, they are buying stuff right and left and stuff that they don't even need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the worst part of it.
Speaker 2:And at the end of the day, when the holidays are over, they have to pay the credit card back, plus interest, and at times they spend more than what they are making. That increases their anxiety. Right Making a plan In that plan also, you have to.
Speaker 1:So now, if I put around the holiday, if I plan to spend $200, for example, and I already know, okay, so I'm going to only attend three events, or dinner or gathering. So you cannot just show up to people's houses without bringing anything. Of course not Even a bottle of wine, of course not. So you have to bring something when you get invited, either for dinner, for any event that you are invited. So you have to bring something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's courtesy. Thank you, father. But and I said, you know what, I'm going to spend $20. So after I spent those $20, so I should be comfortable. So I should be comfortable, and if there is any other event that may come along the way to say you know what, I'm going to excuse myself because I don't want to bring that pressure into myself to keep on spending and sometimes spend what I don't have the point is, what is the purpose of these holidays?
Speaker 2:We have to go back to, to square one. You know what is the meaning of what you are celebrating? Is it about spending money or finding meaning in what you are doing?
Speaker 1:It's very important.
Speaker 2:Sometimes that's a good question. Sometimes people go above and beyond because they miss the target. You know they think that Christmas is about shopping and giving gifts or receiving gifts. It's not. Those are elements of the celebrations, but they are what make Christmas, what Christmas is about, right, what Christmas is about. So it's like you are putting some pressure on you, that those pressures are not necessary really, because they are not really even part of the celebration itself. That's why people go crazy about Christmas doing stuff and that's why in January we'll have huge waves of clients joining therapy, because they are so overwhelmed. They spend so much money, they've been to too many dramas with family and friends and they can't cope anymore.
Speaker 1:And I've seen people, father Uyghur, who just for putting a Christmas tree together will get stressed out or develop a lot of anxiety because, bear in mind, so whatever Christmas decorations that you purchased last year, this year you go to the store. Everything will change absolutely. It's new decorations and they wanna buy those new decorations. But if you have the means, the financial means to buy new Christmas decorations for your Christmas tree, by all means go and add to whatever that you had last year or the year before last year. But if you don't have the financial means, it's okay to use what you had keep it because you save them somewhere.
Speaker 1:It's in the back, somewhere, you know, in the arctic, or the garage or the basement. You still have them. So I don't care if when I go to Father Wigo Presbytery to see a huge Christmas tree with all new decorations that came out this year. So it's okay, I'm like Father, it's beautiful, I really like it and I keep on moving. But whatever that I had last year, I'm going to use it. I'm not going to bring any stress of getting new things every year, and that's the mentality that I've seen people are going through. I don't know what it is. It's like to please others, because you should be doing it to please yourself, to please your family, not to really please everybody around you, because there is no such thing as pleasing everybody around you.
Speaker 2:This is also another type of anxiety called ambient anxiety People pleasers they are doing things just to please others, and now, with that consumerism, it's a matter of buying it. If you look at on TV right now, all the advertisements, it's about Christmas shopping, so it's like we are being forced to buy things, even when, when we don't need things, it's like everything must be new, brand new in reality.
Speaker 1:That, yeah, that's mentally wrong.
Speaker 2:In reality, they are the same thing. They are the same thing we fabricate or we design, but the same material will be used again. But they make you believe that you have to be up to date. You have to get it, if not you are not celebrating the spirit of the holiday, and that's why it's very important during this time to be mindful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we must so.
Speaker 2:You know, to take care of your mental health. You know and I have some tips I'm going to share with them, my viewers as well when we spoke about spending holiday alone. Don't do that. Why you can reframe your expectation of that Again, give thanks and also connect with God to do with others, seek out, of course, connections, stuff like that and treat yourself. Treat yourself I mean, I can't even stress on this feel your feelings right. That's your, that's holidays. What you also must take care of yourself right and in that spirit, you know, um, I'm going to give you some, you know some um, some, some, some points to you know how to be your very best self during these holidays very important.
Speaker 2:It's a time also not only to shop all the time, shop around. It's a time to pause and to think before committing to any responsibility or social events right, and decide what you can really handle. Sometimes, saying yes to everything will lead you to burnout. Why you don't need that. If you are part of a couple, like I said before, family members discuss plans before committing to anything. Why? Because we're going to have so many things going on at once. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling during this season you allow yourself to be, that you know, during that time of Christmas, to feel yourself. You know, if you feel like, like you said before, I don't want to join any events tomorrow, you stay at home.
Speaker 2:But it's you who decide that you're not staying because you feel depressed you have no energy, but you choose to that time that's me, that's my me, time you want to treat yourself and to we both are doing this holiday that's the.
Speaker 1:That's my way of celebrating the holiday correct.
Speaker 2:You have your own way to do it you know, and these are things you can do, you know, so time management is very important too, right? Very, oh, very important because we have so much to do and, before you know it, we still have to go to work, no matter what other than that, so you won't be able to pay, you know whatever bill that you put on the credit cards you know to buy all the gifts and christmas decorations, holiday decorations.
Speaker 1:You won't be able to pay them back if you don't go to work.
Speaker 2:You got it. So in that case, time management is extremely important, right? So when you are able to create your own to-do list, you will have control of your time, because everything cannot be an urgency. It just can't you know some things you have put first thing first, what is first, you get it done. What is important, not urgent, can postpone for tomorrow. What is not urgent and important can be delegated to someone else. That's why you can ask people to come over to help out let's say you have to send 200 cards out.
Speaker 2:Well, you cannot write it yourself. You can invite a friend to come over having a cup of coffee. You ask some of them to help you to put those words.
Speaker 1:You know uh to address cards and send them out.
Speaker 2:You know, if you are traveling you have to have a lease. Lease and itinerary stuff like that against set priorities.
Speaker 1:And execute them. And if you are taking days off, it's very important you know how many days you are taking and how much you can do while you're taking those days off, especially if you have a family, because it's like dealing with the holidays you know alone it's something, but dealing with the holidays as a family it's a different ballgame.
Speaker 2:It's a lot, you know you have to. You have some time to delegate and also be flexible, you know. I mean things can swing around. I mean you don't have to stick to one thing. That's why your to-do list can help you to switch things from what is priority, what is urgent, what is non-urgent, what is necessary and what is important. You can just go around.
Speaker 1:And be able to make the difference between your needs and your wants, absolutely, absolutely Now.
Speaker 2:Holiday coping skills. I have 10 good hobbies I get from that thing that's going to share with my yeah, very good, you know hobbies. I get it from the onsuitcom. You know it's the 10 best hobbies for people with anxiety. Right To calm down instantly. First thing, first, journaling. Right, so write expressively putting down on papers what's happening in your mind. When you put them down, you will notice that as you put them down it's like you are clearing your mind. You are removing the stuff from your mind on the paper. That will help you also to soothe down.
Speaker 1:It's like you're punching bag.
Speaker 2:You got that, you got that. So, and also, if you love music, listen to calming music. Relaxing music also can help you greatly during this holiday season, especially when you are very stressed out. And read empowering books. So any type of music, holidays music, I mean they depend based on your taste and also remember there are some musics, music that are meant to soothe you down, relaxing musics. They are meant for that right and gospel music as well it all depends, yeah, gospel music and things.
Speaker 2:That is music that really uplift your spirit, put it that way. Okay, all right, and read empowering books if you like to read. You know Reading can reduce stress by up to 68%, right? So this is a highly effective hobby for people suffering from stress and anxiety. Readings, you know, and also I always recommend readings when you have insomnia, for instance, if you cannot sleep, instead of playing with your phone. That will again make it worse.
Speaker 1:Keep your word for a while.
Speaker 2:So you can take a book, begin to read and, before you know it, that will bring you back to sleep again and again. If you love animals I do love animals, but they're not. You know, I see things happening around here. If you have a cat or a dog, for instance, you can play with them. That will help you also to soothe yourself down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dogs tend to be, you know very important, main best friend.
Speaker 2:But you know, on a therapeutic level it's very useful Correct, correct and also what we can do. Go for walks, by the way. I was reading yesterday research from Australia University. It is said that walking outside for at least 20 minutes a day is 1.5 better than any medication for anxiety or depression 1.5 better than any medication for anxiety or depression. So being in nature it's like you are engaging all the senses.
Speaker 1:In a sense it's just like a grounding technique, and it's a form of exercise as well.
Speaker 2:Correct. It's like a grounding technique, in the sense that you are engaging all the senses right, the eyes, the ears, ears, all this thing together. So one of the motors, because they are very important in decreasing anxiety. Now the funny one dance in your home. It's like you're not crazy. If you feel stress, I would man you can close your door, you blast the music, you begin to dance as much as you can and you know what you've been.
Speaker 1:You will benefit.
Speaker 2:Uh, uh, uh it's a culture, it's a cardio, you know, for me not only.
Speaker 1:Not only you get to release the stress, the anxiety, but you get to burn some calories some calories as well.
Speaker 2:It's a casual work right there, right, so dancing is a great way to decrease your anxiety and around this holiday, and also, if you like to cook ma'am, it's the best time to cook cook enjoyable meals. Right, cook what you like. You can name all the all the food ingredients that you want to. And cook enjoyable means that also with another way to decrease your anxiety.
Speaker 1:And don't eat it all by yourself.
Speaker 2:Well, but you have to eat anyway. So do something good. Remember, remember in your plan. You have to include yourself during this holiday. Treat yourself right.
Speaker 1:But if I cook and eat it all by myself, I'm not going to do it for only one day. If I kept on doing that before even knowing what I'm trying to do, Father Wigo, is not to put the weight on me. Only you know misery, love, company. I know, I know I want to share the weight with somebody else.
Speaker 2:I know, but cooking in a sense that you know it's a good hobby, by the way, it gives you a chance of being in the moment. Remember what happened with anxiety? It keeps you in the future, but you can't cook thinking about what happened tomorrow. You have to be in the moment. So cooking is a way that it keeps you in the here and now by focusing on what you are doing and then you will again take control of the body itself. So cooking is a good thing to lower your anxiety.
Speaker 2:And we have watch inspiring movies. Movies are those full of movies. Again, that requires concentration, right, you have to focus and then that will inspire you. You will be laughing, you will be, you know, and sharing the cheese and joy at the same time. That can also help you a great deal, you know, during these holidays, to take ownership of your anxiety and, last not the least, create beautiful pictures. If you like to paint, right, it's a time to do. You know drawing stuff that also can decrease your anxiety. The point is mindfulness in general keeps you in the moment. That's what we are trying to do by giving you all these assignments is a way to keep you right here and now, in the moment.
Speaker 1:Very important One thing that I would like to mention, or one more question, if I may put it that way, church related. I know it's early for Christmas, but how the church you know plan to get involved this year into helping people celebrate the holiday seasons both you know the way that it's supposed to be spiritually, and commercially.
Speaker 2:So in the church we don't do commercial but we do the spiritual aspect of it. That's why today at 5 pm we're going to open the Advent season, which is the four weeks what I meant by commercial.
Speaker 1:sorry to cut you off what I meant by commercial.
Speaker 2:you still get involved into getting people gifts commercial, you still get involved into getting people gifts. Oh, we invite our parishioners, of course, to bring whatever they have in the spirit of sharing Christmas celebration right. So we try to reach out to those who are less fortunate in our community, so that nobody will go without anything during these seasons. But spiritually, we are preparing them to encounter Emmanuel. This is Christ, who is the second person of the Trinity, whose historical birth changed the world upside down. That's why we are celebrating, not a holiday for us. We are celebrating the birthday of Christ, who became man to dwell among us, and that celebration is so important.
Speaker 2:The church gives them four weeks to reflect upon the meaning of Christmas, from tomorrow, even today, even at Vision Mass, until the 24th of December. We are preparing our parishioners spiritually to celebrate Christmas. And again, in that spirit of celebration, you don't have to be alone. Again, finding a church or community also is not a great way to connect. You know, socially and spiritually as well, whether you are, you know, christians, or you are Jewish community or my African American descent, who are celebrating the Kwanzaa, is another way to reconnect with one another during this holiday season.
Speaker 1:It is very important, extremely important. And it's doable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why we encourage that. You know, don't be alone, because isolation is not the best thing. It is so detrimental to yourself and to others at the same time.
Speaker 1:Yes, which are two?
Speaker 2:others, being connected. These are the spirit of these holidays, whether it is Christmas, it is Kwanzaa, it is Hanukkah Connection, building up the network so that together we'll be in the spirit, you know, of this as we, as we come to the end of this new year. And also nothing I would have to I would like to add. Sometimes we have so many resolutions, plans, but that we have so many plans, but they are so vague. After two weeks we get overwhelmed with them and I encourage all my viewers right now to really have a plan, you know, a plan that is very smart, specific, measurable, reliable and also within time bound. So let's say that people have great expectations, but they've reached the bar so high for themselves they can't even meet the expectations and they drop again to frustrations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I always tell my clients it's important to have goals, but while you're having goals, you have to have a plan.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 1:Because goals without plans is just a wish. Yes, you cannot be sitting there and keep on wishing. Okay, I want to lose weight, but what are the plans that I'm going to put together? I'm going to work around to lose the few pounds that I want to drop.
Speaker 2:Correct. So the plans in a sense is the roadmap leading to the goals itself. Exactly that would navigate you to achieve your goals. And the goals without objectives also they are not goals, Because we have to have goals and objectives within a solid plan to achieve, really to meet the expectations.
Speaker 1:Exactly and focus.
Speaker 2:Very important.
Speaker 1:Determination.
Speaker 2:And discipline and discipline.
Speaker 1:You need all of that, all right. Anything else.
Speaker 2:I think what if I want to say I'm wishing everyone a safe, wonderful holiday celebrations and they don't have to be alone again? If they ever had some issues dealing with family members and friends, maybe not able to meet the expectations that might lead them to anxiety or depressions, just want them to know that they should not go through it alone.
Speaker 1:we are there to assist them and you know one thing, father the beauty of it, the holidays come and go every year, it's just you know, whatever that I miss this year, if I was not able to celebrate and be with you this year, I can be with you next year. So that's why we have plenty of reasons not to stress ourselves.
Speaker 2:Correct and be in the spirit of these holidays, yes, and find the joy. Find the joy of this paradise.
Speaker 1:Yes, and find the joy. Find the joy and enjoy, you know. And if you don't have, if you have the financial means to spend the money to buy things that you think that can make you happy, by all means, you know, spend it. But if you don't have it, don't stress yourself. Don't go and borrow from people just to buy gifts for other people. No, don't do it. You. No, don't do it. You don't have it. You don't have it. Everybody will be all right they should, they should.
Speaker 2:And also another thing when it comes to expectations, joy and happiness, they cannot be found in stuff. What we found within themselves, you know and most importantly for us Christians, we know what that source is is God. So it comes from within us, through our God, and this is why we have to focus not on commercial consumerism, stuff, but on the meaning.
Speaker 1:To that I say amen.
Speaker 2:To the meaning of these holidays themselves.
Speaker 1:Okay, so before we wrap up, so you have some resources that you want to leave us oh yes, we have some resources for our viewers, which I'm going for those who are watching or listening you can just um upload for them so that they can do some research on them. We have a couple of them here, okay, so you want me to read them out loud for you, father, the first one we have.
Speaker 1:We have coping with early days survival guide. So just go online and Google it so you will read the information online. And we also have the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The number to call is 1-800-950-6264. 1-800-950-6264. 950-6264. We also have Depression and Anxiety of Mental Health. The number to reach out is 866-615-6464. Once more, 866-615-6464. It was a pleasure to have everybody listening or watching. Remember to subscribe, remember to leave a comment and, of that said, I'll see you next time. It was with you, dr Beatrice Ippolite, with your World.